While walking along the waterfront near Downtown Buffalo, we stopped at a bench near a bird blind. It was a beautiful place except for the demonic graffiti. I felt more sadness for the writer of the graffiti than I did for the defacing of the bird blind. I could still see the beauty of God's creation in the midst of evil garbage. If I could speak to the graffiti writer, this is what I would say:

"It's good to see you! I'm glad you're here. Have you noticed that cormorant over there? Have you seen the blue heron or the oriole? Did you see the flight patterns of those birds dive bombing after bugs? This place is incredible! Turtles, fish, deer, sailboats, cool breezes, did you ever wonder where the wind comes from?

 Did you know that God has a plan for your life? In all of history, past, present and future, there is only one of you that will ever be created. If you don't become what you were created to be, then you have wasted you. Life is about sowing and growing. The things you say and do are seeds for your future. Everything in life comes full circle. If you don't appreciate what has been freely given to you, there will come a time when you will not be able to freely receive. If you habitually destroy property, what you own will not be respected by others.

 Go do something nice for somebody. That's a seed worth sowing. You are loved unconditionally by a God who watches your back. You may not understand now because life seems full of rejection, but you will - if you want to. I believe in you and if you want me to help you learn about the deeper meaning of life - I will."

Do you have 30 days left? Nobody really knows the answer to that question - unless of course you are a condemned man walking down death row about to be executed. I want to live my life as if I might die at any minute with the belief and hope that I have many minutes ahead of me here on earth. Either way, when I die I know I'm going to heaven. What could you do for 30 days that will impact the rest of your days?

Wisdom is something most folks would love to have more of. In the Book of Proverbs there are 30 "Sayings of Wise" contained within Chapters 22:17-24:34. I've been reading one Chapter of Proverbs each day and I will continue this endeavor indefinitely. My Grandmother lived to be almost 103 years old. When Gram talked, we listened. She was alive during 3 centuries, the wisdom and knowledge in that little lady's head (she was shrinking with age!) was huge. If I want wisdom, I have to listen, learn and live what I have learned. At the end of these 30 days, I will tell you a little more about the wisdom of Grandma Larrabee. Each day I will study and reflect upon the wisdom contained in the "30 Sayings of the Wise" and share my thoughts with you. I know we will both grow wiser with a greater capacity for actions of love. Let me add a little nugget from Proverbs 22:6,  "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

.Today is Day 1 on our wisdom journey. The text for today is taken from The Message Bible followed by the same passage in the Amplified Bible.

Proverbs 22:17-21 The Message (MSG)

The Thirty Precepts of the Sages
Don’t Move Back the Boundary Lines

17-21 Listen carefully to my wisdom;
    take to heart what I can teach you.
You’ll treasure its sweetness deep within;
    you’ll give it bold expression in your speech.
To make sure your foundation is trust in God,
    I’m laying it all out right now just for you.
I’m giving you thirty sterling principles--
    tested guidelines to live by.
Believe me—these are truths that work,
    and will keep you accountable
    to those who sent you.

Grandma Larrabee was dispensing wisdom to children for as long as I can remember. This is a picture of Gram on her 100th birthday with my daughter Beauty. Her name is Michelle but she will always be her Dad's Beauty! Children soak up the time we spend with them. Sowing seeds of wisdom will bear fruit in time.

Here is a brief description of my thoughts regarding the First Saying:

1. Listen and  apply. When you learn something wise you need to live what you have learned. Practice what has been preached to you.

2. Honey in your heart is even sweeter on your lips. Speak the goodness within you. There is a sign in our Youth Center that says: "Positive words only are spoken, negative words make people feel broken." Speak honey boldly!

3. One of my favorite all time songs is: "Trust and Obey." Your first unconditional trust has to be with God. If you don't believe in God, ask Him to show Himself to you.I trust that He will. God never changes, He's rock solid always "Trust-able." Am I always "Trust-able?"

4. The history of well learned and time tested principles is here for your perusal. It's a choice to accept or reject. Wisdom is precious and is here for you freely. You are precious and God's love is freely given to you.

5. These truths are absolute. Your honesty in dealing with others should be absolutely rock solid. The words of your heart should be like a river of love that is honest and true.If you are not truthful with your neighbor, you are not truthful with God.

I'm soaking up Saying 1. I'm going to live my soaking by pouring the sweetness of truth out of my heart.  There is a more excellent way of life in love for 30 days and all days. God is my foundation and I desire to be rock solid with my Redeemer because He lives.

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.
Jesus loves you and so do we.

  "Daddy, what's an Obscurity Tree?" Asked the Heart Farmers Daughter. The Heart Farmer smiled with his eyes and his heart as he looked earthward to see his little girl. He paused for a moment as if he was realizing for the first time how fast his daughter was growing up. The big hearted farmer was experiencing a beautiful mind reflection, an intimate knowing that his daughter was hungering for the deeper meanings of life. The Farmer with the huge heart puffed up his chest as if his heart had just grown even larger and said: "Have a seat right here in this Adirondack Chair my little Beauty and I'll tell you the story of  the Obscurity Tree."

"Once upon a minute, there was an obscure seed tucked away into the darkness of a lonely womb. Some folks would call this place the womb of mother earth. The seed had been planted there by father time and would be birthed in obscurity. The womb was a place of struggle and time was needed for the seed to grow. The very beginning of the seed was very obscure and unseen to most folks. The womb hid the growth of the seed from the naked eye.

 Time rewarded the seed at different stages of it's growth. Soon the seed would experience the emergence from the womb as it celebrated its first birthday. The emergence was accompanied by a new name. The seed was now called a sprout. During the emergence, the seed would spring forth from the womb as a new birth. The sprout was still very obscure and unable to live without support.  The tree was in its life stage of infancy and with a little coaxing and care it would grow deeper roots and stronger limbs.

Time passed, the sun shined, the rain poured, seasons changed and the sprout grew. From infancy, the young obscure sprout would grow into its pre-tree stage. The young sprout who was now a pre-tree began to call attention to itself and even sometimes make demands on the other trees of the forest. 'I want more sunlight! Gimme some more room!' Storms of life change would bring pain, adversity and misunderstanding. A few of the older trees would blow an air of arrogance from their lofty boughs of wisdom. The pre-tree was still very vulnerable and easily influenced. As a young pre-tree, the damage done at this stage could have devastating effects resulting in the carnage of many trees in the future. If the pre-tree could be kept healthy and uninjured it would continue to grow.

Eventually, the pre-tree would become a treenager. This was potentially the most exciting time of a tree's life! New buds, new boughs, new roots, new seasons - the opportunity to escape obscurity seemed to abound with every breeze in the forest! The temptations around them caused a selfishness which made them want to shed their obscurity the way they shed their leaves every fall. Many of the trees were infatuated with recognition and prominence as they strove to escape the seemingly barrenness of obscurity. The strivings created winds of change and the gentle breeze of unity in the forest turned into a tsunami of selfish individuality.

The trees with deeper roots maintained their obscurity and formed solid, meaningful and lasting relationships. They grew together as a team. They knew the secret to life was becoming one in unconditional love. They knew they were loved because someone first loved them. To be obscure was to blend in with the efforts of the others. They desired to do what was best for the whole forest. The young obscurity trees began to understand deeply the wisdom of the elder trees;

There is a season to stand tall above the other trees, 
There is a season to stay in the shade. 
There is a season to stretch toward the heavens,
There is a season to support others as they stretch.
 There is a season to be strong, 
There is a season to lean on other trees. 
There is a season to be concealed, 
There is a season to be revealed. 
There is a season to be distinguished, 
There is a season to be obscure." A season of rest precedes a season of growth.

The Heart Farmer finished his story and smiled at his daughter and asked:
"Do you understand obscurity my darling Beauty?" The preteen girl looked up at her dad and said:
 "I think so Daddy. Being obscure is like washing feet, sometimes you wash and sometimes you sit."
 The Heart Farmer laughed so loud he scared the hawks out of the trees. He scooped his daughter up into his diesel arms and hugged her to his heart as he smiled and said: "I love you Beauty to the stars and back!"

What's the moral to this story?
You decide!
Wisdom is gained through knowledge.
Selfish children become selfish adults.
Wounded children become wounding adults.
 It takes time for all of us to grow.
Patience is a womb, love is unconditional.
Go do something nice for somebody.
Be patient with growing children.

Be patient as a cactus flowers. Be patient with children.

"Sir, I have no man....."

Young people want to be trustworthy.
Everyday, kids go home and walk upon floors of fatherlessness.

"Sir, I have no man....."

They walk around cities and see new courthouses
and accept a season in jail as normal.
Maybe we should classify fatherlessness as a disability.

"Sir, I have no man....."

Some children are able to jump
into the waters of opportunity
as the tide of favorable circumstances
breaks upon the shore of their lives.
Some children need someone to help them.

"Sir, I have no man....."

We all need help sometimes.
The inability to help ourselves is a disability.
Teaching children is more
than a lecture and testing in a classroom.
Teaching children is more
about helping them climb the mountains of life.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

3 In these lay a great multitude of impotent folk, of blind, halt, withered, waiting for the moving of the water.

4 For an angel went down at a certain season into the pool, and troubled the water: whosoever then first after the troubling of the water stepped in was made whole of whatsoever disease he had.

5 And a certain man was there, which had an infirmity thirty and eight years.

6 When Jesus saw him lie, and knew that he had been now a long time in that case, he saith unto him, Wilt thou be made whole?

7 The impotent man answered him, Sir, I have no man, when the water is troubled, to put me into the pool: but while I am coming, another steppeth down before me.

8 Jesus saith unto him, Rise, take up thy bed, and walk.

9 And immediately the man was made whole, and took up his bed, and walked: and on the same day was the sabbath.

John 5:3-9 King James Bible

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
John 5:3-9

Even on the Sabbath

5 1-6 Soon another Feast came around and Jesus was back in Jerusalem. Near the Sheep Gate in Jerusalem there was a pool, in Hebrew called Bethesda, with five alcoves. Hundreds of sick people—blind, crippled, paralyzed—were in these alcoves. One man had been an invalid there for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him stretched out by the pool and knew how long he had been there, he said, “Do you want to get well?”

7 The sick man said, “Sir, when the water is stirred, I don’t have anybody to put me in the pool. By the time I get there, somebody else is already in.”

8-9 Jesus said, “Get up, take your bedroll, start walking.” The man was healed on the spot. He picked up his bedroll and walked off.

John 5:1-9 The Message Bible

The Sunday morning service at a Christian church had just ended. I had just finished my mission as the pulpiteer of the day. My message had been about stepping out of the pulpit and pews and closing the gap of separation between our words and actions. Our lives should reflect a message of love and neighborliness that's evident on the mountaintops and experienced in the valleys. I left the pulpit and sat down in the back of the old bar that now serves as a church. Pastor Jimmy had just closed the service with a prayer when a lady in front asked:

There was a slight pause and a momentary collection of breath and thoughts before he responded. He gave the obligatory Biblical response that most Christians give regarding God's view of homosexuality which is negative. The Bible has several portions of references to homosexuality including Romans 1:26-27 from The Message:

Some folks jump on the anti-gay bandwagon with that verse and plaster judgmental bumper stickers on their hearts. Before they get too comfortable in their snugly fitting robes of haughtiness, they might want to keep reading through to Romans 2 also from The Message:

Two young ladies were sitting next to me in the back of this bar turned into a church. They listened in disagreement to the words of Pastor Jimmy. I remembered that during my discourse about showing love to everybody,  one of the girls made it a point to let me know that they were in a "relationship." Pastor Jimmy finished his explanation and began to wrap up the service. The girls next to me were shaking their heads in disagreement. I asked them if maybe there was a more excellent way than being gay?

"I was born a lesbian." Was the reply from the more vocal of the two. I asked her about her relationship with her father and she became a bit rancorous and said never mind her father, he wasn't in her life. She said she had a good relationship with her step dad. I asked her if she felt she struggled with abandonment issues. She said no and then added that all guys break your heart. I told her that it sounded like her emotional woundedness may have caused her sexual orientation.

In the natural order of humanity, it is a relationship between a man and a woman that promulgate the species. We talked about the natural way of humanity. I asked her a question: "Could it be that the natural love between a man and a woman is the true nature of humanity and a more excellent way of love?"

I have friends who are gay and people that I love dearly who are in gay relationships. I have told them that I could not love them anymore if they were in a straight relationship. My love for them is not dictated by their sexual orientation. Many gay people that I know have experienced emotional and or sexual trauma. Fractured families with missing or emotionally dead parents have caused children to seek the approval of the same sex. Sexual trauma is a wound that affects both gay and straight people. Unhealed emotional wounds caused by sexual trauma can distort the true beauty of sexual joy experienced in a loving relationship between a man and a woman.

Is it healthy to make a choice regarding sexual partners based on a deep and unhealed wound? Nobody, gay or straight should think about entering into a relationship unless they are healed emotionally. I always urge people to have a heart to heart chat with God about their sexuality. It is not my responsibility to convince or convert anybody to my belief system. The way I read it, the more excellent way seems to be the natural way. All relationships will struggle. Most people will struggle regarding sexuality in some manner. Healing through openness and honesty can be accomplished through compassionate, nonjudgmental listening.

You deserve the best in life. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. God picked you for first string on his team. Expect the best. Don't settle for a future life that may be dictated by your wounded past. We need to open up more compassionate dialogues with God and ask him to heal our wounds.
He answers prayer.

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.

I remember the day I first met him at the restaurant in the Emerson School of Hospitality at 70 West Chippewa Street, which was part of the Buffalo Schools.
He told me his life story and I was chilled as he said he had killed 3 people and "They didn't even offer any resistance."
I can't imagine taking a life so it was hard for me to understand.
It may be hard for the families of the murder victims to understand why he was free.
Please rest in knowing that Jerry was doing his best to prevent more people from experiencing the tragedies that you have.
He was remorseful and repentant.
He was making a difference by teaching about brokenness and a more excellent way of life.

I introduced Jerry to my friends in the Niagara County Youth Bureau and he became a regular speaker during their youth events.Many organizations began to call Jerry although he still struggled to earn a living. He counseled, drove a truck and did handyman work. He always found time to talk to kids. He endured many attacks from folks who felt he should still be locked up but Jerry persevered. I remember one day in a Buffalo School where I had invited Jerry to share just a few moments of his story. The students were sitting in chairs in a cafeteria style room. He stepped up and showed a picture of his mug shot from the day of the murders. He said very seriously and forcefully: "This is a picture of me when I killed 3 people."  The effect on those students was eery. You could see them physically push their chairs back in fear. His story of how he fell to the lowest place a human can go is gripping. His story of how he rose from the ashes of his life is riveting. His story carries the truth of redemption. Young people quickly embrace the brokenness and restoration of Jerry's life.

On February 2, 2013, I left Buffalo, New York and headed towards Phoenix, Arizona to marry a lady who is a miracle in my life. I would be gone several weeks and I needed someone to step into my shoes as a Relationship Mentor during an After School Program in a Buffalo School. Only one name came to mind: Jerry Balone. I called Jerry and asked if he was free to talk to some kids. I don't think Jerry ever said no to the opportunity to reach young people since I have known him. He was happy to be able to speak to more young people with his life changing story. When I returned in late February, I asked the students what they thought of my friend Jerry. They all thought Jerry was a great guy. I asked them if Jerry was a bad guy because he had done bad things? They replied: "No, he's now a good guy who used to be a bad guy who did bad things." We talked about how people can change and grow as they become good people. Many of the students I talk to have parents in jail or just plain absent. Some parents tell their children that their Mom or Dad will never change. The message we give to children is: "We all have the ability to change ourselves."

Jerry spoke about not caring about his victims. As a child, he was continually victimized. As an adult, he believed that it was his turn to become the victimizer. This happens repeatedly to many of us who have been emotionally traumatized at a young age. If you carry the wounds of emotional trauma in your heart and soul, seek healing. Jerry's story of healing began when he gave his woundedness to God. There are many videos about Jerry that help tell his story. Please watch the video on the link below and share it with someone who needs to feel hope and experience healing.

On the day He died, I was going to write Jerry a check for $45 for his work with the children during my absence. If someone knows where I can send that check or to whom I can give it to who will use it to continue Jerry's legacy, please let me know. Jerry will live on through my words as I speak to thousands of young people in our Relationship Mentoring programs. I miss you Jerry. Jesus loves you and so do we.

http://www.cbn.com/tv/1428491929001

Thanks for your time. Go share some healing with somebody.

     Sometimes in life we unconsciously partner with adversity. Our heart may be in the right place and even our actions may be ordered by integrity. Still, there seems to be a residue of sadness when I reflect on the possibility of a more excellent way.

     Last week I was reading Pat Riley's book: "Winner Within." Pat is one of the greatest basketball coaches of all time. He was coaching the New York Knicks against the Michael Jordan lead Chicago Bulls. Riley asked his players if they knew which one of them would be selling Nike Sneakers that summer. None of them had a Nike contract so they looked confused. He said that there were many photographers taking pictures of Michael Jordan. They were hoping to catch a shot of Michael flying through the air with his tongue hanging out as he slammed the ball through the hoop over the head of a hapless defender. They would make about 8 million copies of that picture as they sold Nike Sneakers to people all over the world. Riley asked his team: "Which one of you guys will be the guy in the poster watching Jordan fly over your head?' The vision of being the poster boy was stimulating enough to cause the Knicks to rise to another level and beat the Bulls that day to even the series.

     I have been the Director of Youth With A Purpose Inc for almost 12 years. I have watched young people succeed and I have watched young people die. It's the dying part that gets me riled. I feel like I was the devils poster boy. I stood by one 14 yr old with my hand on his chest as he took his final breath. I was praying for another heart beat beneath my hand. The bullet in his head caused the bleeding to flow nonstop. Afterward the grief seemed to flow nonstop. It was human beings doing evil things that caused this young boy to lose his life.

     The devil didn't kill my young friend whose name was on my Father's day card that year. It was human beings who have lost the ability to value their own lives. If you don't value life, it's easy to take a life. If there was a satellite photo taken of me and the boy on his deathbed, it probably would look like I was the devils poster boy. A 14 yr old with a bullet through the middle of his head surrounded by shocked and grieving family members would look sad. There was I in the midst of them. Helpless, feeling hopeless and defeated.

     The life support had been removed as the hope of life was taken from the family through the belief of doctors. The bullet passed through the middle of the brain and neurological function was nonexistent.  They explain to you the process of removing life support and what will happen. Slowly the body will shut down as it cannot continue to beat and breathe without mechanical assistance. There are some moments of life that seem to last forever as you wait for death to carry a loved one into eternity.

     There is a new anger welling up in my soul as I think about being the devils poster boy. It may be that I could not have prevented this boys untimely death. It may be that I could not have prevented the deaths of many other young people. It may be that I could not have prevented the incarceration of untold numbers of young people who are now wasting away in the cages of penal institutions. I believe there is a more excellent way.

     I told a young man last week that I was not here to make friends. "I don't care if you don't like me. I'm here to point you in the right direction and help you survive on the mountainsides of life." As I told him: "Jesus loves you and so do I." He replied: "I know Jesus loves me but you don't. If you really loved me you wouldn't yell at me." As he walked out the door, I smiled and said: "The more I yell at you means the more I love and care about you and I want to keep you alive and out of jail."

     I don't care if anybody likes me as long as the devil hates me. I know Jesus loves me. Jesus loves you and so do I.