Last night at the George K. Arthur Community Center, the YWAP Directors were treated to an extravagant display of talent from many different artists from the very young to the moderately old! This was a Talent Show and Fund Raiser for the Youth Prison Prevention Project led by Rob Harris.

The Muhammed School of Music featured 2 accomplished violinists. There was a man with an electric flute, a rap poet, and some young folks singing and dancing. The night was capped off by a phenomenal "Michael Jackson" dance number that had the place rockin'!

http://www.muhammadschoolofmusic.net/muhammadschoolofmusic/Welcome.html

. Rob is a great guy with a hugely compassionate heart who is making a difference in the community. Thanks Rob for who you are and what you do!

https://www.facebook.com/events/371843062951386/

This is another chapter in the soon to be released Manual on Mentoring called:
"Mentorology - Volume One Building A Mentorship"


Chapter Nineteen

Heart Viewership

Your mouth speaks what your heart sees. If your heart sees only brokenness, you will speak words that will break the spirit. Conflict is the first step in the growth process. Through brokenness we are given a greater capacity to love. A Mentors "Heart Viewership" is a two-way looking glass.

AID to MENTOR NAVIGATION Part 37

The Heart Farmer and his daughter Beauty were walking along a freshly planted field. Acres of dirt were all that was visible to the naked eye. The Dad smiled and said to his daughter: "I can already see that corn growing knee high by the fourth of July! In fact I can already see the corn silo filled with corn!" Beauty looked confused: "But Daddy, I don't see anything. All I see is dirt and the corn silo is empty."

Dad smiled even wider. "You've got to put your "Heart Glasses" on darling. They let you see things that you believe will eventually happen. We know that we planted the corn and we just believe that it will grow. My heart tells me to believe and see the corn so I can plan for the future." The little girl seemed to understand - a little. "Daddy, do you mean it's like when I can see dinner in my mind just from smelling Mommy's good cooking?" The Heart Farmer laughed a great big belly laugh. "Yes my little sweet pea, I can taste your Momma's cooking when I smell it, even when I milking the cows!"

The lessons of the Heart Farmer are endless. As a Mentor you will need to develop your "Heart Vision" to see potential beyond immaturity. Don't judge by what you see - have faith in what you don't see. Just believe that if you follow the principles set down in this book that you will make a difference. A Teacher may only be a part of a child's life for a short time before they move on. You are only putting a piece on the child's character. The finished product may be a few seasons away. You may never see the finished product outside of your "Heart Vision." Put your most compassionate foot forward and just believe in a bright future for the people you Mentor.

AID to MENTOR NAVIGATION Part 38

The picture of character that you envision in your Mentee must be visible in you. Use your "Heart Vision" on yourself. Examine your own character traits. Are there any that should not be passed on to a person you are Mentoring? A Mentor should be a walking, talking replica of the character that you would like to see developed in others.

The closer you get to someone, the more likely is the possibility that you will reveal glimpses of your personal life. When you are experiencing a particularly pain filled life episode, careful attention needs to be paid to your words. Do not fall into the temptation to use your Mentee as a confidant and a counselor. Set boundaries on what you will discuss regarding your personal life. It's okay to reveal that you are going through a divorce. It's not okay to rant and rave over your "soon-to-be" ex-spouse's character indiscretions.

You may need to step away from Mentoring for a season. Painful life episodes are like seasons that come and go. The winter is a season of stillness and reflection. Winter in the north is a season where growth stops and rest begins. Make time to rest after a devastating fall has left you depleted. Do not push yourself so hard that you will end up in counseling or worse.

Heart Vision is having the ability to discern future events based upon proper planning and experience. Teaching good character from a textbook has value. Teaching good character by modeling good character is the best way to have that behavior emulated in others. Seeing is believing. A Mentor with Heart Vision is a seer of belief. 

Belief begins in the eyes of your heart.
Thanks for your time.
Go do something nice for somebody.

The Bright Spot Report

This is a place to share the bright spots in our world. If you have a bright spot to share, please do. I'm glad you're here! I hope your day is filled with extravagantly abundant blessings that exceed your imagination.

Bright Spots can grow in dark places.


The Bright Spot Report is a place for success stories
as well as a place for tips on how to create Bright Spots.


If you have a Bright Spot Story, please share it with us,
so we can create a world with more Bright Spots.



Saturday, November 23, 2013

The Preacher Lost His Congregation          

The Preacher preached until no one was left.
As the congregation sat down for the early morning service,
the preacher dude turned his back on them.
He began to preach about the needs of the city.
Doors opened in front of the preacher revealing the city.

          As he preached a need,
several of the congregants would get up and walk past him toward the city. Eventually the preacher had covered all of the city gates and their needs.
Most of the folks understood the needs of the city and
walked past the preacher to go and help people in need.

          Some folks were miffed.
They had come to hear the preacher talk to them.
He didn't even face them,
he looked at the city and it's needs the whole time.
They got up and walked out the same doors
 of the church that they had entered.

          Eventually the church was empty, the preacher was alone.
All of the congregants had left him -
some went toward the need
 others left looking for feed.

          The preacher became a follower:
he followed the others toward the needs.

Thanks for your time.
Go do something nice for somebody.
JLYASDW













http://thebrightspotreport.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-preacher-lost-his-congregation.html

Chapter Eighteen

 Wardenship of Trust

Wardenship is a word that conveys the notion of power over people. The following words are considered synonyms for wardenship: custody, care, protection, safekeeping, tutelage, tutorship, watch and trust. I wonder if you asked the average prisoner in a jail if he would use those words to describe the Warden or Prison Guards in his life. As a Mentor, you may have to visit an inmate in jail that is controlled by a Warden. As a Mentor you may have to free someone from a personal jail where you have the opportunity to become a Warden who tutors through trust.

AID to MENTOR NAVIGATION Part 35

HOW TO MENTOR AN INMATE

1. HOPE
A Mentor is the "Hopemeister."
Upon entering a jail or prison to visit an inmate, prepare yourself. Abraham Lincoln is a good example of preparation: "“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” You need to spend some time filling yourself with hope so you can dispense hope. For a 2 hour prison visit, spend 4 hours filling up your hope tank. Read stories about hope and perseverance, soak up hope in any way you can.

2. LISTEN
Most prisoners will have a lot to say. They will lament about loneliness and spending another birthday or Christmas behind bars away from their family. They may express regret over the past. Let them talk and listen with your eyes and your heart. Let them know you are listening empathetically.

3. HOPE
A farmer breaks the ground before he can plant a seed. He let's go of the seed. He builds a silo to hold a crop that is not yet grown. The farmer does not control the sun or rain that will help his crop grow. A prisoner needs something to believe in. Everyday is a new planting opportunity. Everyday has brokenness. Your words of hope become seeds in the broken heart of the inmate. Let them know that they are valued and loved unconditionally. Help them plan a future that contains a purpose - WE ALL HAVE A PURPOSE!

AID to MENTOR NAVIGATION Part 36

Words can create generational prisons. Once upon a minute, many years ago, a father told his son he was worthless, no good, stupid and lazy. He also added that the son would never amount to anything. Those words became labels of belief in the young boys mind.

As he grew, the son became filled with resentment and wore his labels well. He used them as excuses in school for his lackluster grades. He used them at home as he defiantly disrespected his mother (the father had left home after planting his seeds of negativity.) The boy dropped out of school, joined a gang, got a girl pregnant and went to jail.

As his baby grew, the baby's mom became impregnated with resentment at having to raise the baby alone. She blamed the imprisoned baby's father for all of the pain in her life. She raised her son to disrespect his "loser father" who called his trips to jail a "vacation." The son grew older in a culture of disrespect devoid of unconditional love. He followed in his dad's footsteps. He got behind in school as his grades slipped - he blamed the Teacher. The young man eventually quit school, joined a gang, had a baby and joined his dad on vacation in jail.
 
As a Mentor, you need to recognize the roots of self imprisonment and disrespectful behavior. Let the following creed become a part of who you are:

"Positive words only - are spoken, 
Negative words make people feel broken."

Become a warden of your words. Remove words that are devoid of hope. Speak truth and encouragement. Discernment of truth should not lead to criticism. Love is a better way. Love is a more excellent way. The person you are Mentoring may not have a clue what love is. Your words, commitment, perseverance and non-critical attitude may be the keys that unlock the doors of a personal prison.

Friday, November 22, 2013 

Chapter Seventeen
 Steamship of Resentment

"You're not my father!" It's a phrase that I've heard screamed in defiance countless times. Young men filled with resentment rebel against any fatherly figure who fills a role of authority. Anger at the absence of a father figure is embedded in the hearts of fatherless sons. Their subconscious is filled with volcanic like indignation that fuels quick-tempered outrage. Identifying the root of anger will help you teach your Mentee how to use anger as a building foundation instead of a self destructive force.

AID to MENTOR NAVIGATION Part 33

We had to close the door to keep the young boy from running out of the Principal's office. He was out of control; punching, kicking, screaming and crying. I was in the building for a Relationship Mentoring Class and just happened to be in the Main Office when the boy was brought in. 

Talking to him seemed to have no effect at calming him down. Then we asked him if he wanted to draw and gave him some paper and markers. We were just biding our time until a parent or guardian could come and take him home. He began to draw pictures of people and a house. As he drew the pictures, he began to relax. We asked him about his artwork and he opened up a little. He said that sometimes he went to his Dad's house. He said sometimes they would argue and then he had to go home. The boy was angry about a family situation.

All situations require individual and unique responses. There is no "one size fits all" answer. Do not rely solely on your own experience to solve a problem dealing with anger. The anger issue that you may have lived through may be similar but each person is unique. Be a patient and empathetic listener. Ask questions about what, where, why, when and how regarding the anger. If someone does not want to talk: DO NOT FORCE THEM! Be a friend and build trust by being caring and non-judgmental.

AID to MENTOR NAVIGATION Part 34

This next section may scare some of you. Depending on where and who you Mentor, dangerous situations can arise. Some teenagers will try and bait you into a physical altercation. You may be much stronger than a young boy - YOU DON'T HAVE TO PROVE IT. Only use physical force as a last resort. If an attack occurs, defend yourself as best as you can.

I have Mentored in the inner city for over 10 years. I have had attempts on my life and damage to my personal property at my home. I have called the Police on numerous occasions. I have had to break up fights between both girls and guys. Drugs and alcohol play a huge part in violent behaviors. There are ways to protect yourself as you Mentor in potentially dangerous situations. Some are no-brainers but you need to burn them into your brain.

·         Whenever possible, make sure that there are 2 or more adults around you. ·         Always have a cell phone within reach. ·         Stay away from enclosed areas hidden from public view. ·         Maintain male to male and female to female relationships. ·         If you have any questions about someone who has a violent history, ASK THEM! ·         Do not hesitate to call the Police. ·         If you do say you will call the Police - THEN DO IT! ·         Be alert for signs of weapons. ·         Learn the cultural language that identifies threatening behavior. ·         Use your intuition to guide you and be on high alert. ·         Be careful when inviting the friends of the person you are Mentoring to be a part of your activities.

                        Mentoring can be dangerous in certain neighborhoods and with certain individuals. You most likely will never have to face the dangers listed above but the Boy Scout Motto is: "Be Prepared!" There are storms in life and preparation will keep you safe.

Chapter Sixteen
  The Spaceship of Segregation

No one can be everything you want them to be. It's not your job to create a clone of your own character in the person you are Mentoring. You are not a potter with a piece of clay.

You are more of a chef who creates a meal and presents it on a plate for consumption. Do not force feed your personal beliefs into anybody - that causes resentment. A good Mentor presents food with a vision that shows why consumption would be beneficial.

The best kind of motivation is self motivation. Season the meal that you're offering with encouragement. You cannot feed somebody their own success - they have to achieve it on their own. "Success cannot be force fed as a meal." Give them a menu, give them the food and let them do the eating. Provide instruction and then give them space to grow. Personal space should be a personal creation.

AID to MENTOR NAVIGATION Part 31

I left my home this morning for an appointment with a homeless man. Last night (11-21-13) he walked into our Youth Center. I haven't seen him in almost a year. When he first started coming around he would act very gruff and demanding. He wanted some food on his timeline - he didn't want to wait for our cooks to get done preparing the meal.

He smelled like most homeless folks do. Their clothes are dirty and they lack the necessary items of personal hygiene. We serve a smorgasbord style meal for our snack and dinner. The kids did not want to stand anywhere near someone who had an odor. They did not want to touch the food after he had filled his plate. His hands were clean but they perceived him as a dirty person who could contaminate the food. They gave this homeless man plenty of space. They created space through avoidance. They created space through lack of understanding and compassion. They created segregation between themselves and a person who was hurting.

We began seeking a solution about the unwelcome space of segregation in the food line. At a Food Bank of WNY Seminar, we received some very valuable advice: "Have the homeless man sit down and let the kids serve him." It was an awesome idea and closed the gap between the young people and the homeless dude. When in doubt; seek a compassionate solution.

AID to MENTOR NAVIGATION Part 32

I once asked the homeless man what his birth date was. I noted it in my phone and put aside a birthday cake for him. On his birthday he didn't show up so I went looking for him. I drove around the area of the West Side of Buffalo where he was known to frequent and I couldn't find him. Several weeks later he showed up with his usual gruff demeanor. The birthday cake changed the homeless man in the blink of an eye.

I asked him where he had been and after some small talk, told him about the cake. I let him know that I had been looking for him on his birthday. He brightened up like a mountain sunrise. You might think I'm a fruitcake but I swear I thought I saw his chest puff up, his shoulders raise and his ears twinkle. He said: "You have a cake for me?" He paused as if to collect his thoughts from some place that only he knew about. In the blink of an eye, his gruffness was gone and then he began offering to help us. "Do you need any help? Can I take the garbage out?" An act of compassion had once again altered a human life. He left that day feeling valued. The funny thing about compassion is how it affects your nose. You don't smell anything offensive when you are pouring out compassion.

We didn't see our friend for almost a year until last night. I smiled as he came in and gave him a hug. I cooked him a bowl of chili. He asked if I could help him put a roof over his head for the night. I said I would do my best. He finished his chili with a cup of juice and we cleaned up and left the Youth Center.

I had left my phone at home so we could not call anybody. We climbed into my van and headed to the Salvation Army. We prayed in the parking lot and asked God to provide a roof for my friend either here or somewhere else. A very nice lady explained to us that single men were not permitted to stay at their facility. She then volunteered to call some area shelters to find him a place to stay.

The Buffalo City Mission was full for the night. She found another place called the Little Portion Friary. There were 2 ladies who bent over backwards to help my friend. He didn't have any ID and that presented a problem. They asked if I could come back tomorrow and help him begin the process of obtaining an ID through the DMV. I agreed and told my friend that I would pick him up at 9am the next morning. He then disappeared, following a man down a hallway.

This morning at exactly 9am, I pulled up in front of the Friary. The lady inside said he left about 10 minutes ago. She was worried about my friend: she said he looked very sad. I left and drove around the downtown area trying to find him. I stopped in a McDonald's and a Burger King, I never found him. Now I feel sad.

Before I dropped my friend off last night, we talked about taking a step. "We can get you help but you have to want to get on your feet." I told him. He has to create his own space of responsibility and accountability. He has to take a step into a plan for his life. I feel bad that I can't find him this morning. I hope and pray that I will see him again. He taught me a lot about giving people space to grow.

          We could use some Mentoring advice this morning. We are picking up a homeless person from a shelter where we left him last night. He needs to get some ID before he can stay there again and get involved in programs that will help him. We will take him to the DMV. After that we have to leave him as we have other appointments. He cannot go back to the shelter until 4pm.


Does anybody know where a homeless person
can go that will be good for him?

Thanks for your help. Go do something nice for somebody.
JLYASDW

MENTOR FORCE TIP of the DAY

Friday, November 22, 2013

4S + ES = Peace & Strength    
    
          I laughed yesterday as I wrote what some folks would call a mathematical equation, I stood in a college classroom and wrote on the board: "4S + ES = Peace & Strength." When I was at St Francis High School, I struggled with Algebra. My brain couldn't grasp the concept of putting letters and numbers together. Now, here I was doing my own form of Algebra.

Four Seasons + Embracing Struggle = Peace & Strength
Fall, Winter, Spring Summer + Conflict = P&S
Letting go, Pausing, Starting fresh, Celebrating + Go with the flow of life = P&S
Forgive, Meditate, Plan, Praise + Learning from mistakes = P&S
         
          The seasons of life change and there will be conflict - change does not happen without conflict. A butterfly struggles to be free from its cocoon. A diamond in made in a hot, deep and dark place. A Pearl is made from an irritant in an oyster. A muscle is made stronger by resistance. A broken heart is capable of loving in a more excellent way. Letting go of resentment, learning a lesson, being prepared and smiling are just another synonym for the 4 Seasons. Climbing a mountain and enjoying the view is another way to embrace the struggle.

Thanks for your time. 
Go do something nice for somebody.

MENTOR FORCE TIP of the DAY

Thursday, November 21, 2013

GIVE THEM SPACE          

          No one can be everything you want them to be. It's not your job to create a clone of your own character in the person you are Mentoring. You are not a potter with a piece of clay.

          You are more of a chef who creates a meal and presents it on a plate for consumption. Do not force feed your personal beliefs into anybody - that causes resentment. A good Mentor presents food with a vision that shows why consumption would be beneficial.

          The best kind of motivation is self motivation. Season the meal that you're offering with encouragement. You cannot feed somebody their own success - they have to achieve it on their own."Success cannot be force fed as a meal." Give them a menu, give them the food and let them to the eating. Provide instruction and then give them space to grow.

Thanks for your time.  Go do something nice for somebody..

 You are a Potentiator!        

           Every human being has locked within themselves vast storehouses of unlimited potential. Your purpose as a Mentor/Teacher is to provide a fertile ground for self confidence to grow.

           The first step in helping a child grow self confident is examining your own self confidence. You are perfect just as you are because there is nobody like you in the past, present or future. Being perfect is simply doing the best that you are capable of in each task.

           Yes, you will falter at times. Part of being perfect is admitting mistakes and not making them twice. Just believe that you are capable of growing in a more excellent way - everyday. Overcome adversity by envisioning a new season of Spring in the midst of Fall. All things change together for good.

Thanks for your time.
Go do something nice for somebody.