It was a powerful gathering of compassionate folks who care about kids. Eric Thomas is one of the most powerful speakers that we have ever heard. Thank you to all of the folks at the CAO who made this event possible and thank you to all the folks who stopped by to say hello to the folks at Youth With A Purpose Inc. and Mentor Force. This is only the beginning Buffalo!

The 8th Graders at North Park Middle School were a a great audience today. They loved to participate in their own learning. They were a great group who were respectful and engaged in our discussions. We talked about addictions, abuse, hardship, kindness, forgiveness and taking ownership of your own actions. These guys are world changers!

MENTOR FORCE TIP of the DAY

Monday, March 24,
2014
What is Right & Wrong for a Mentor?  
        
        When I lived in the suburbs my idea of right and wrong is different than it is now. I looked at folks in the city and wondered: "What's the matter with these people? Don't they know right from wrong? Why do they kill, steal and destroy each other?" I had a "mightier than thou" attitude. I was arrogant, judgmental, and haughty. I thought that the version of right and wrong in my brain was the only acceptable version. Then I moved into the city and experienced the "Hood version" of right and wrong.
           The young girl who was about 12 years old came into the Youth Center with tears in her eyes. She was crying and afraid. She told me that a gang was after her brother and wanted to kill him. She said that a gang member told her:
"We are going to kill your brother so don't get in the way. When he gets out of jail, we will come into your house and shoot anybody who gets in the way. We will shoot you, your mom, baby brother or anybody else who gets in the way."
I knew that she was telling the truth and that this was a real possibility based on the current events including dead young people in our neighborhood. I knew her brother carried a gun when he was on the streets. I always told the young men that they should not carry guns. They said they needed them for protection. Life here in an area known as: "World War III" can quickly change a persons perspective.
          I have never carried a gun in my life. Even after threats on my life and being on the scene of shootings, I never felt the need to carry a weapon. For me it's a faith issue - I believe that God put me here. If I'm doing what God has called me to do then nothing will happen to me. My haughty perspective has changed regarding right and wrong. I used to be quick to tell a young man when I thought he was doing something wrong. I try not to do that anymore. I listen and try to understand his perspective. Only after I understand his life and I have a personal relationship with him will I interject my opinion on right and wrong.
          A persons view of right from wrong is based on their culture and life experience. If I grow up in a family that drinks alcoholic beverages very heavily, then I believe that it is right to be able to drink that much. If I live in a safe neighborhood where there is no danger of being assaulted with a deadly weapon, then I think that we don't need guns to protect ourselves. If I grow up in a culture where men treat women like furniture and have multiple wives, then I will have the same attitude where ever I go.
          Mentoring is not an exact science but here is what I would consider an "absolute:" Form a relationship with somebody before you force feed your opinions down their throat. Understand their life as best as you can before demonstrating superiority in your character over theirs. It is not right to shoot somebody. You can take the guns out of their hands by modelling a kind way of life - forgive your enemies. Teach young men how to respect women by doing what you preach. Hypocrisy is one of the biggest wrongs in the world and prevents young minds from learning what's right. A mentors job is to form healthy relationships with healthy boundaries. A condescending "know-it-all" who judges people without attempting to understand somebody is a contributor to more wrongs than rights. Be a good listener with the ears of your heart. Be compassionate and empathetic with a backbone. Speak the truth in love.
          Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.

Bob Kuebler
Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
We teach teachers, mentors and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  716-830-8240 or [email protected] We do school assemblies and conferences.

          Last week we ended our class by leaving the students a question to reflect on: "What do you do when your teacher is the bully?" We began today's After School Program at Buffalo School #6 with the same question. The class was really about Restoring Right Relationships.
          Their answers were insightfully deep! Who do you talk to when the teacher is the bully? Here are their answers: the School Board, City Hall, parents, the teacher, your friends, your parents. All of those have the potential of being a right answer. There is another step that we told the students to think about.
          We tell parents the same thing we tell students when they are faced with a teacher who needs to improve their classroom manners. Document what you believe is the infraction. Write down the date, time, name, place and the offense that occurred. Do not approach someone when you are angry, chances are that your anger will prevent clear thinking that might lead to a resolution. We told the students a story called "The KIng and His Hawk" about Genghis Khan. In a fit of anger he killed his hawk who was trying to save his life. Approach someone with whom you have a conflict when you are calm.
          Writing is a good first step and provides a paper trail of truthful evidence. Talking to the teacher is usually a good step. Letting parents know is always best although not every child has a parent who will listen. An Assistant Principal would usually be told before the Principal. The School Board would be the last resort.
          The key lesson that we wanted to give today was about letting go and not holding a grudge. Restoring relationships is a skill. We all make mistakes. Some teachers start out with less than acceptable relationship building skills and improve over time. Becoming a great teacher does not happen over night. Being a teacher in the city is more stressful than being a teacher in the suburbs. I think that being a teacher is one of the most demanding jobs on the planet. They will make mistakes and so will we. Restoring right relationships is a skill we need to learn.
Mentor Force will be there on Saturday when the Community Action Organization of Erie County holds its first Youth Power Summit and Mentor Forum at 11 a.m. March 29 in Bennett High School, 2885 Main St. Stop by and see us!
          Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.
Bob Kuebler
Founder

           HEAR YE! HEAR YE! We just submitted the following grant application. This is a collaboration between Mentor Force (YWAP), Urban Christian Ministries, Xertion Youth, THEPP - The Homicide Educatipn Prevention Project and Project L.E.E. -Learning & Earning Experiences.

          Collaboration is the key to changing the City of Buffalo. The organizations who work together as a team to pool resources, time, talents and expertise will have the greatest impact. We will reduce violence, poverty and segregation in Buffalo, NY. If we are selected as one of the 200 finalists, you will be given a chance to vote for us. We will know on April 28. We will keep you posted. In the meantime - GO DO SOMETHING NICE FOR SOMEBODY!

Here is our submission:

Thanks you for submitting! Here's a copy of your cause for your records... and to inspire neighbors! Check back on April 28th to see if it was chosen by the State Farm® Youth Advisory Board to be in the voting round.

Your Name:: Bob Kuebler

Zip or Postal Code:: 14204

Email:: [email protected]

Phone:: (716) 830-8240

Cause Name::
BALLERS BREAKFAST

Category::
Safety

Related Nonprofit Organization::
Urban Christian Ministries

Which city will benefit most from this cause?:
BUFFALO

Which state/province would your cause have the most impact?:
New York

How much does your cause focus on an unmet need of the community?:
Buffalo is ranked as one of the most violent, impoverished and segregated cities in America. An unprecedented number of children are fatherless because many young guys are following in their fathers "absentee-parent lifestyle." Women and children deserve to be treated with dignity. Young men between the ages of 19-25 years old represent a large proportion of those most likely to become involved in violent behavior. A large percentage of these young men are actively engaged in crime, incarcerated or dead. Gangs led by older males activel! y recruit young boys and indoctrinate them into a violent pattern of behavior. We need to focus on the older guys and help them understand their responsibility in becoming role models whose behavior is worth imitating. Positive peer influence among the older guys will help create a Mentor Force of accountable males who will actively pursue mentoring relationships with young boys and men. We will teach young men how to respect and honor young ladies.

How would $25,000 support your cause?:
BALLERS BREAKFAST will create hope beyond the violent streets. Through a weekend mentoring and athletic program, the Hope Center will attract young men from the violent neighborhoods of Buffalo. The initial program will run over the summer as an open basketball league to be played outdoors (indoors due to inclement weather.) Every Saturday morning will begin with breakfast and a mentoring session. The power of this program lies in the number of collaborating organizations collectively combining their strengths to provide hope and a future for young men who are at-risk of vi! olence. After the morning session that will last approximately 2 hours, the young men will play ball for about 4 hours. The league will follow strict adherence to the code of conduct used in high school sports. Funds would be used to purchase portable rims and backboards, training materials, facility maintenance, and youth program needs.

How much of a lasting impact on your community will your cause have?:
Collaboration between community groups is a model of teamwork that will impact a city. Young people in gangs who fight turf wars against each other have witnessed the acrimony between politicians, government agencies and community organizations. Urban Christian Ministries, Mentor Force, Xertion Youth, Project L.E.E, and The Homicide Education & Prevention Project will combine forces and work as a team. Putting young people first and pooling talents, resources and expertise will become a model for a segregated community. All of the leaders ! of these respective organizations have personally felt the devastation of losing a young man to violence. They are all personally involved with young guys who are members of gangs. We recognize that the young men want to live safe and productive lives but lack the belief in themselves to make it happen. We are changing neighborhoods one young person at a time. Through a team approach we will reduce violence, poverty and segregation in Buffalo.

The age group most in need of community involvement is::
19 - 25

What inspired you to submit this cause? :
It is important to me to support my local community and its specific needs.

What else (other than funding) would most benefit your cause?:
Additional volunteers

How did you hear about State Farm Neighborhood Assist®:
State Farm Agent

If you would like an expert from Mentor Force to speak to your group about violence, gangs, drug, alcohol and sexual abuse or abstinence from at risk behavior please contact us. We regularly speak in Health Classes in Erie and Niagara county Schools.
[email protected]


Bob Kuebler
Founder/Mentor Force

MENTOR FORCE TIP of the DAY

Friday, March 21, 2014

Molding the Mentor Mind          
         
          All of us have had someone walk into a room and our first thought upon seeing them is:
"Oh no! There goes my day!"  With that thought we have already set our selves up for a negative experience. The atmosphere around us might as well be supercharged with negative molecules that are destructively contagious. Your mind has been molded into a cynical and pessimistic embodiment of hostility. You might as well hang a shingle on your forehead that says: "Hater!"
          There is a better way. You better find a better way or you will not make a very good Mentor. Long term perseverance is the best indicator of a successful mentoring relationship. There will be some young people that you will not be able to mentor because of volatile personality traits. However, in the vast majority of relationships you will find some rocky roads. You obviously do not expect life to be perfect and that applies to your mentoring life. Look into the potential of the person you are mentoring and you may see a different person.
          I'm sure you have heard of the expression "a diamond in the rough."  When you get a glimpse of somebody that has previously caused an unpleasant experience in your life, start looking for diamonds! Your thoughts can be influenced by your perceptions. Your thoughts can control your interactions with people. Your expectations can shape your thoughts. You will smile a lot more if you put this concept into practice. Imagine yourself saying: "Oh boy! Here comes another diamond!"
          Each child you mentor represents a future diamond. It takes time to make a diamond and they are molded through pressure, stress, and hard times. Expect the best when you meet the worst. Mold your mind into gem making motor, you will be a successful and smiling Mentor!

Thanks for your time. 
Go do something nice for somebody.

Bob Kuebler
Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives. We teach teachers, mentors and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  716-830-8240 or [email protected] We do school assemblies and conferences.
          
  Posted by Bob Kuebler at 7:54 AM

     Buffalo School #3 was a great place to be this afternoon. The YWAP Mentor Force Team held 2 assemblies focusing on bullying awareness. The first group of enthusiastic youngsters were from Grades 4-5 and the second group was from Grades 6-8. We laughed, listened and learned in a highly participatory venue filled with Common Core Character Education.
     Thank you Principal Giangreco, Asst. Principal Wilson for allowing YWAP the privilege of sharing time with your students. We would like to say thank you to the person who probably worked harder than we did in making this event happen - Chanda Ramirez who is from Catholic Charities and Say Yes Buffalo. We can't wait to come back!

If you would like to bring Mentor Force to your school for an assembly, please call us at 716-830-8240. There are still a little over 12 hrs to go in #springiton2014. Any amount donated to YWAP during this event will go to help some young ladies go to a YWAP Leadership Camp. Thank you for your generosity. www.springiton.org/ywap

     The last time we visited Buffalo School #3 we saw a beautiful hawk in a tree just outside. Today beginning at 1pm, the YWAP team will bring the Mentor Force live on stage. We will do 2 "Bullying Awareness' assemblies. The first is for Kindergarten - 4th Grade, and then we will entertain the 5th-8th Grades.
     We believe in using all of the different learning styles to impact our audience with a life changing message. Our favorite is audience participation. Today we will have several stories and vignettes that use humor. Our toilet plunger becomes a weapon in a fake fight that dramatizes courage. We also use a rubber chicken imitating a hawk in a story about anger.
Buffalo School #3 is a great place to be!

Thanks for your time.
Go do something nice for somebody.
    

     We hope your day is filled with heart smiles! This is a great big YWAP Day (everyday is a big YWAP Day!) It's #springiton2014 and there are many worthy and compassionate organizations trying to do something extra, It's kind of like "going the extra mile."
     The YWAP goal is to raise enough funds to cover the cost of a Ladies Leadership Camp. WHY LADIES? A very smart man told us that "You have to protect the goalie." He reasoned that young guys treat ladies like a goalie and they were trying to score on the goalie. So our goal is to help young ladies learn how to value themselves to such a degree that they will focus on what's best for their lives. A young lady who is focused on education is more likely to avoid at risk behavior like having a child that will end up in the welfare system. Through education they can become the world changers that they were meant to be. When they respect themselves they will demand to be respected by the guys.
     We are raising funds because you can't put chicken in the gas tank! You can donate a few bucks (any amount is cool beans!) for gas and other valuable items that help us give young ladies more opportunities at:
www.springiton.org/ywap

Thanks for your time.
Go do something nice for somebody!
         

EVERYONE at Lockport High School was friendly, courteous, respectful and they smiled at us! We had a great day for 9 straight classes with some very interested students. Our topics covered a range of addictive behaviors and their causes. We also spent a lot of time on how to form healthy relationships with yourself and others.
          Here is what a Health Teacher had to say about our day:
Bob and Linda,
Thanks again for coming in to speak to my class!  Your energetic presentation had the kids hanging off every word of your stories, very powerful stuff!  I am encouraged that they will take what you have to say and feed off your positivity.  Hope you come back again soon. Thanks!   

Peter Agugliaro
Health Teacher
Lockport City School District
[email protected]
(716) 478-4450 ext. 205