MENTOR FORCE TIP of the WEEK
Mentor Force is a collaboration of Mentors who work with teachers to reinforce study skills needed for a satisfactory education. Through the Common Core of Character Education, we help students deal with social and emotional issues that are barriers to learning. Our team approach to mentoring helps to raise grades, reduce suspensions and minimize behavioral problems. We mentor in the mountains. We mentor in the classroom. We teach mentors. [email protected]


Monday, June 30, 2014

WHEN A MENTOR IS STARVED
         
     Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship. Discipline and teaching are synonyms that will become wisdom when they applied. Mentoring children over a long period of time will reveal the character flaws of both you and your mentoree. That might might shock you to think that you might have a character flaw.

          Children learn at different speeds and mature at different ages. A simple concept for you might be like a rocket science equation for them. Your patience will be tested as you try and grow your mentoring relationship. Let me describe the garden where conflict is most likely to grow. Let's use the word: "STARVED" as the acronym for our garden, The following conditions can cause conflict; you need to examine your reactions to each condition before you react in an adverse manner.

S - Starved

• You might be hungry and this will affect your body and your mind. Hungry people tend to get grumpy.
• Are either you or your mentoree starved for attention? A child will do almost anything to get some attention. Don't overreact to attention getting ploys.

T - Tired

• People who are emotionally drained need a rest. Children need to be told to take a break. 
• Many adults continue working while they are in the midst of burn-out.

A - Angry

• Anger can be generational in nature, especially in families of absentee dad's.
• Children get angry when they feel you don't really care about them.

R - Revenge

• A child may disrespect authority because the authority figures in his life have let him down.
• One bad teacher can cause all teachers to be painted with the same brush in the mind of a child.

V - Vegetate

• Some children are passive in relationships because they don't feel cared for.
• If you don't have energy to continue as a mentor then have the courage to let go.

E - Ego

• Too much ego can lead to arrogant selfishness. You are not even close to perfect.
• Children have to outgrow their sense of entitlement and this is agonizingly slow.

D - Depressed

• Life is filled with ups and downs. An adult should be able to recognize the cause.
• Children often do not know why they are sad, they end up just getting mad.

          You will do things that you have to apologize for. A child will learn how to apologize by watching you. The imperfection in you works together with your apology to create a nugget of learning in a child's heart.

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.

Bob Kuebler
Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
We teach teachers, mentors, coaches, parents and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  
716-830-8240 
 [email protected]. 
www.youthwithapurpose.org

The River of WNY gave a group of youngsters the opportunity of a lifetime this weekend. Through a partnership with Xertion Youth/Xertion C.R.U (Community Restoration Unit) and Youth With A Purpose Inc. we used a weekend to climb the mountains of life.

Three words would aptly describe our Wilderness Adventure Experience: "Thorns, Buds & Roses." We struggled, hurt,and pushed ourselves beyond our previously known limitations. We learned about new character building possibilities. We had fun and smiled a lot.
 
In the midst of a mountain hike, there is a lot of groaning and complaining. The pictures of smiles tell the truth. This was the hardest thing that any of these young folks had ever been asked to do - AND THEY DID IT! 

They helped to cook, clean up and speak positive words to each other. "Positive words only are spoken. Negative words make people feel broken." We had some struggles, disagreements, and disrespect; among all of us as we all have room to grow. Sometimes young people confuse discipline with disrespect; they begin to think that an adult does not like them, in most cases that is not true. The directors in charge of this Trek; Daryl Boss, Linda & Bob Kuebler have experienced the heartbreak of children on a regular basis; we watch kids get hurt as they hurt each other. Sometimes they go to jail or die, we love them so much that we will go to great lengths to help them become all that God has meant for them to be. That's why we help young folks climb the mountains of life.

Many folks contributed to the success of this trip. We'd like to thank  Ken & BG Metzger who donated a copy of Ken's Book: "The Potter's Perfect Piece" to each young person on the trek. We used a quote from the book to let each camper know what God thinks of them: "We are each unique---special, loved and perfect for God's plan for our lives."

Pastors Mike & Jennifer Derrick from The River of WNY provided the bulk of the funding to make this life changing trip happen. Thanks Mike & Jen you have planted everlasting life growing opportunities in the hearts of young folks.

There are many other folks who contributed to the programs of YWAP and we appreciate you. Your efforts are keeping kids alive long enough for them to figure out what God's plan for their lives is.


Thanks for your time.
Go do something nice for somebody.
Jesus loves you and so do we

          Local Author and All-Around Good Guy - Ken Metzger was kind enough to donate one of his books to each of our Adventure Trekkers. We are leaving this morning for the trip of a lifetime for some young folks. They will learn how to climb the mountains of life as they hike up one of the tallest mountains in New York State. 
          Ken's book is a one-of-a-kind rarity. It's like an adult book in a children's style with an easy to read story that is gripping and life changing. Thanks Ken for caring about some young people and their future. They will learn that "We are each unique, special, loved and perfect for God's plan in our lives."  
Jesus loves you and so do we.

Twas the night before the mountain trek and all through the house,
All the campers were packing, in search of a bug repellent blouse.


Clean clothes without stains were folded fresh from the wash,
Would soon bear the colors of the mosquito they would squash.

Riding for six hours they would soon be in the woods,
Adjusting to silence away from their neighborhoods.

In the morning they will climb mountains in the Adirondacks,
Becoming a team, learning how to watch each others backs.

Yeah, we be climbin' the mountains of life. 






































  

The mountains of life are not easy to climb. The view from a climbed mountain is spectacular. It's a life accomplishment that sets the stage of hope and confidence for the next life mountain. 

We leave on Friday morning (6-27-14) for our next mentoring adventure in the mountains. If you would like to send young people up and over the mountains of life, please pick up the phone and call eight. 830-8240. 
JLYASDW

A happy YWAP camper with one of the most important pieces of camping equipment - a tooth brush!

MENTOR FORCE TIP of the WEEK
Mentor Force is a collaboration of Mentors who work with teachers to reinforce study skills needed for a satisfactory education. Through the Common Core of Character Education, we help students deal with social and emotional issues that are barriers to learning. Our team approach to mentoring helps to raise grades, reduce suspensions and minimize behavioral problems. We mentor in the mountains. We mentor in the classroom. We teach mentors. [email protected]

Monday, June 23, 2014
MENTORING ON THE EDGE OF A CLIFF
  
          We live in the age of testing. Our education system has been reduced to test taking. If a child fails a test, are they a failure or did they choke under pressure? If they choked, are they a failure or a choke? Many children who fail begin to feel inferior and quit school. Quitting is like jumping off the cliff instead of hanging in there and seeing potential. Does a persons performance under pressure give a true representation of their intelligence, learning or test preparation? What does all this mean for a Mentor?

          Professional athletes have been known to choke under pressure. Until they have "won the big game" they will be known as chokes. If a child repeatedly gets less than satisfactory grades, they will be labelled as a poor or mediocre learner. The Teacher of that child will be viewed professionally through the lens of a child's failure. There are many things that affect test scores. Injustice is something that visits all people indiscriminately. When it happens to a child, the pressure will affect them adversely. Is a Mentor responsible for helping a child get better grades?
ABSOLUTELY! 
          
          The role of a Mentor is similar to the role of a gardener. A better description might be to call the Mentor a "Heart Farmer." The heart of a child is a garden; it grows with plants and weeds amongst rocks and thorns. The neighborhood where a child lives may be bully patch of thorns. A walk home from school may be painful or dangerous. The boy or girl next door may be a gang member attempting to spread the weeds of their illicit business into the life of a child. An absentee dad is a stumbling rock. Your role as a Mentor is to help a child understand that injustice happens to everybody in some degree. 

          Some children seem to suffer more than others. Learning to do your best in all circumstances is a skill that can be taught. Conflict is a normal part of the growth cycle. Learning how to deal with conflict will help a child weather the storms that might cause choking and failure. As a Mentor, here are some key words to study and teach:

1. Commitment - Long term commitment to becoming an overcomer.
2. Perseverance - Know when to persevere and when to move on.
3. Compassion - Go the extra mile when somebody deserves less.
4. Knowledge - Study the heart garden of the child you are mentoring.
5. Prepare - Develop a plan of action that helps a child become an over-comer. 

Thanks for your time.
Go do something nice for somebody.


Bob Kuebler
Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
We teach teachers, mentors, coaches, parents and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  
716-830-8240 
 [email protected]. 
www.youthwithapurpose.org

We are available for school assemblies and educator conferences.      

For the second time this year we were invited back to train the staff at the Amherst Youth Board. The crowd had a large group of college age students mixed in with some seasoned veterans. Our task was to provide training in relationship building with young people. The crowd enjoyed the audience participation and their feed back was very positive. Thanks for inviting the YWAP Team to share what we've learned working with young people over the last thirty years. 

Here are some of the comments we received after the training session:

•  "I liked the ideas and use of props to present them because it helped me to remember the ideas." 
  
• "The energy and real life stories/experiences. The positivity that can be instilled by one person."
• "You had a very positive upbeat attitude during the whole presentation."
• "It was captivating and highly informational."

The YWAP directors spent the morning with an awesome group of guys at The Chapel Men's Breakfast. The Food, friendship, music and prayer were inspirational and energizing. We made new friends as we shared God's developing story in the inner city of Buffalo. Some of the pictures are from the YWAP video, our camera is not capable of clarity in low light conditions. We included the pictures anyway as a tribute to the young people who live, struggle, cry, pray and love in the hood. Jesus loves you and so do we!

YWAP needs help in many areas as we grow into serving in a more excellent way. It was an exhilarating to rub shoulders with men who are making a difference in the world. Several guys volunteered to help YWAP in the areas of art, teaching, web design, graphic design and music. One gentleman will be with us tonight at the Buffalo City Mission as we sing and pray for the men. Thank you Leroy Wiggins for inviting us. 

School officials wanted to do something special for students who went the extra mile. This special celebration was about perfect attendance and the students who did their best. The community came together to help give the students and their families credit for a job well done. Congratulations to all of the staff and students for being good role models for all of theBuffalo Schools. The Buffalo DPCC should be proud of the parents who came and supported their children, Sergio R. Rodriguez , Antoine Thompson, Sharon D Tell, Bob Kuebler,Say Yes Buffalo, Catholic Charities of Buffalo, NY, 
All photos taken by Linda A Thornhill Kuebler.