The homeless dude was homeless. We found him a place that would help him learn to become accountable and self sustainable. The homeless dude refused, now he's homeless again. The caller informed me that my homeless friend would be asked to leave for good this morning. He had to be gone by 9am. I felt a gnawing ache in my gut that told me to go see him this morning. I wasn't sure what I would say or do but I knew I had to go.
Sometimes it's hard to know when to help somebody or when to let them struggle on their own. Not knowing what I was supposed to do, my decision to go was based on my belief that: "It's better to ere on the side of compassion than not act at all." When I got there he was already gone. The person on duty informed me that he would not listen to the rules and help himself. I understand that. I last saw him 2 weeks ago when I dropped him off. We agreed that I would pick him up the next morning to get him some Id from the Department of Motor Vehicles. I was there at 8:59am and they told me that he'd left 10 minutes earlier.
He has a pattern of avoiding appointments. I don't understand that because he asked me for help.
About 2 weeks ago he came into our Youth Center asking if I could find him a "roof over his head." He knows how to ask for help. About 2 years ago, he came in and I remembered his birthday so we gave him a cake. His demeanor changed because we remembered his birthday. He asked if he could help us. He knows how to help. The lady I spoke to this morning said he avoided appointments. Sometimes he wouldn't even answer when she asked him a question. When asked if he understood that he was not welcome back, he responded gruffly: "Yeah, I guess."
He is wandering the streets of Buffalo and it didn't have to be this way. All he had to do is follow some very simple rules; he refused. I don't know why and it bugs me, I hurt. Later today I will be at the Youth Center helping someone else store some personal belongings. They have to leave their home because it is not a safe place to be. I wonder if I will see my homeless friend who earlier today became homelesser.
There are many ways that somebody can become homeless. I wonder if someone can become so "unloved" that they reject any form of love because of fear born from abandonment and rejection. There are words that don't exist anywhere except in the heart of a homeless person. Words like:
- Homelesser - Losing a home you never had.
- Re-unloved - Losing love you never felt.
- UnChristmased - Removing memories you never had.
- Lonelymas - The longest lonely day.
- Unbefriendingly - A lifestyle of companionlessness.
I watched a tree peel once. It was a birch tree in the Adirondack Mountains and the wind blew a frozen current against the bark of the tree. I was standing on a snow covered trail in a forest on the way up Mt. Marcy (5,344'.) God showed me a human heart all wrapped up in layers of abandonment and rejection. He is the wind that wants us to unwrap our hearts. A human being is meant to be transparent with God without any hidden fears or guilt edged secrets. Instead, forsaking His forgiving love, we wrap our hearts in the protection of self pity. God wants to unwrap the heart of the homeless and He may want to do it through you. You may be living with a family and still be homeless. Ask God to allow the wind of His Spirit to to breathe over you in a current of love that will burn away the chaff of loneliness.
Thanks for your time.
Go befriend a companionless person.