Re-Wrinkling Your Brain & Renewing Your Mind
The mindset of expected abandonment is deeply ingrained in the minds of people who've been rejected beginning at a very young age. You could call it an inferiority complex. They've lost the ability to believe they're worthy of a trusting, long term relationship. The resulting behavior is a deliberate destruction of any affection and desire to continue in the relationship. Most of the time, the sabotage is nasty and leaves deep wounds in an innocent person. The nastiness serves the purpose of burning the bridge to make reconciliation almost impossible.
The record of rejections plays repeatedly in the minds of those who've experienced multiple abandonments or ejections. They talk themselves into believing that the next relationship will be different. Within a short time however, the closeness and intimacy of an authentic relationship causes fear to rear its ugly head. A sick feeling wells up in the pit of their stomachs and tells them the end is near. Soon they shift into a plan of sabotage driven by the belief that they're about to be abandoned again. Oftentimes folks will say things like, "Every time we get close and things are good between us you push me away." The record in their minds continues to play. After they've completely destroyed a good relationship, they get a sick satisfaction of knowing they were right about being abandoned again. They refuse to accept responsibility for their own actions and place the blame for the abandonment on the other person..
It's a misconception that brains grow new wrinkles when we gain new knowledge. I'm not an expert, but what I've read is that the brain does change when new information is introduced. It's more about the plasticity of the brain and the interaction between neurons and synapses. Brains can grow in new knowledge and reshape the way we look at old knowledge. That's the beauty of the how God created us so we can let things go and focus on new thoughts. I believe that to be true because I've seen the enormous change in people who renew their minds by immersing themselves in the Word of God. What we focus on is what we'll be filled with.
Some people will walk through our lives and leave us with scars that we'll have to forgive them for. Some people will change after we've loved on them for many years. If you have the opportunity to love a person with a history of abandonment and rejection, be straight up with them. Have a heart to heart talk with them about renewing their minds in Christ. They can change their way of thinking and reshape their brains. God uses the spiritual to reshape the physical. Be patient, be honest, be committed and put your faith in God.
DAY NINE WORD
Mark 15:34 Good News Translation
“At three o'clock Jesus cried out with a loud shout,
“Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” which means,
“My God, my God, why did you abandon me?”
Romans 12:1-2 The Message
Place Your Life Before God
"So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you."
Romans 12:2 Amplified Bible
"And do not be conformed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind [focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His plan and purpose for you]."
Hebrews 13:5 Amplified Bible
Let your character [your moral essence, your inner nature] be free from the love of money [shun greed—be financially ethical], being content with what you have; for He has said, “I will never [under any circumstances] desert you [nor give you up nor leave you without support, nor will I in any degree leave you helpless], nor will I forsake or let you down or relax My hold on you [assuredly not]!”
DAY NINE PRAYER
Jesus, you were forsaken on the cross. None of us have ever had to deal with that kind of abandonment. In our lives we've rejected your lovingkindness over and over, but you still accept us. God, your everlasting arms are open wide for the rejected to be accepted. Guide us in our attitudes and the shaping of our characters. Renew our minds in you. Amen.
DAY NINE DEEP THOUGHTS
- A farmer has to reject a seed from his hand for it to grow in soil that's been broken.
- A woman travails in birth before her child is pushed out of the comfort of her womb.
- There are benefits to rejection.
- We try and improve ourselves after a rejection.
- It keeps us from being too prideful.
- It creates opportunities for us to change.
- We try and improve ourselves after a rejection.